Leah's Rainbow

Today I wanted so much to see one of the special rainbows that God sends me whenever something special is going to happen.  So I asked for it.  Like Elijah I went several times to look over at Semple Cay and at Friendship and even at Monkey Hill, really expecting to see one.  But I didn't.  And even as I was asking, a thought came into my mind that said, "With all the suffering and distress and loss in New Zealand do you still have the heart to ask God for something so trivial as a rainbow?"  But I immediately countered the thought by praying a prayer similar to this:

"Lord, after the devastating flood in Noah's time you sent a rainbow to let them know that all would be well.  You would never destroy the whole world with a flood, ever again.  But the New Zealanders are now mourning after such a great tragedy.  Would you please send them the equivalent of a rainbow to comfort them in their time of loss?"

I also prayed that in case there were still people trapped under the rubble who were still alive after so many days where people were thinking it was impossible to find anyone alive, that God would let them be rescued.

However, I didn't think it was insensitive to ask God for a rainbow at this time.  Rainbows always remind me that God is a promise keeper. Rainbows give me this extra loving feeling for God, my creator. God is not limited by the frequency or the intensity of world events; he isn't too busy to be disturbed with insignificant requests.  But, evening came, and night covered the day. Still no sign of a rainbow. 

Shortly before calling it quits for the night I decided to do a Google search for "Leah"s Rainbow".  I came up with the following blog, which at first brought to mind the mug I have that says,

                           

                  Leah
                                                So willing to help
                                                So much to be done
                                                No wonder she's often
                                                The weary one
                                                                                             Jack Piatr

This mug  description fits me so well. 

http://gladwellmusau.wordpress.com/2010/02/20/married-but-unloved/#more-655

The blog post speaks about a woman desperately longing for her husband's love in her marriage by bearing children with the hope that her husband would fall in love with her.  Finally when she realizes that she cannot win his love that way she stops having children and instead she decides she would praise the Lord.

My name is Leah.  My story is different.  My intention was not to get married, not to have children because of my own childhood experiences, even though I loved children very much.  My earthly father figure did not accurately image my Heavenly Father.  I thought of Him as a harsh, judgmental God, just waiting for me to do something wrong so he could punish me.

But this God who makes the rainbows and draws my attention to them, who thrills me with his colourful arches across the sky, had other plans for me.  He gave me a wonderful husband who loves me so much, who has fathered our three wonderful children who love God and us as parents, and He has for over thirty years been intimately involved in the shaping of our marriage and family for his delight. 

As parents we would put a plaster on a bruise and "kiss and make it better."  God does the same for us.  In this imperfect world we can get bruised, battered and figuratively or literally buried under the rubble of life.  So tonight my heart aches for the children of New Zealand--the big ones and the small ones--whose hearts are all bruised.  May God who is preparing a new heaven and a new earth come and kiss and make it better for New Zealand, for Haiti, for Pakistan, for Australia, for Egypt, and for all those places experiencing some kind of distress.

Finally, in Googling for the significance of a rainbow I came across the following picture which "incidentally" was from New Zealand:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Rainbow_At_Maraetai_Beach_New_Zealand.jpg


Love,
Leah

Running Ahead of God

We are like extra-large babies.  I visualize a toddler, fascinated and over-confident in his new walking abilities.  The parent and the toddler appear to be going down the road.  The father is carrying the young child but determinedly the child squirms and pushes himself out of his parent's grasp, slides down to the ground, and then takes off in a speed ahead of him. 

"Wait!" the parents calls out, knowing at any moment traffic can come speeding round the corner.  But on rushes the infant, deaf to the safety calls of his guardian.

As if on cue, with a deafening roar, a rider on motor bike races toward them, frightening the not-so-brave-any-more child, back to the arms of his loving parent.
We are like that.  We sometimes have the idea that we want to go somewhere.  Or we hear God say that we will be going somewhere.  Without waiting for directions, or even misunderstanding directions, if any, we take off, ahead of our Father.  And God, who is ahead of time and knows what's around the corner, stretches out his hand to guide us.  But we wriggle out of his loving arms to strike out on our own.  It isn't that our Father is not going to put us down to walk part of the journey, but knowing the road ahead of time he is selective in where he should do just that.

This morning I read Chapter 4 of Never Alone by Joseph F. Girzone even while I was visualizing the above illustration and I am amazed by the different media by which God is helping me to understand the relationship (intimacy) for which I have been crying out with him.

It's like the story of the prodigal son and how it helps us to see Our Father giving to us lavishly.  We are all prodigal children who have spent on ourselves most of what our Heavenly Father has so generously given to us. 

We have spent our gift of salvation on ourselves. We have had our social Sunday morning parties in our church pews.  The music got better and better.  We had fun and sought more and more ways to make the party more enjoyable.  We spent all our financial blessings on feeling good.  Like gluttons we have eaten so much spiritual food without caring much for the needy outside. We have wasted our talents when we could have invested them in the Kingdom. When we feel empty, hurting and lost we come crawling back to him. Luckily, God is always glad to see us coming back from the distance and he reaches out to greet and welcome us.

From my journal of 9th October 2010